Small Victories

I have been working hard now for about three and a half weeks to change some of my habits towards healthier goals. I gave up all sweet sugary drinks (except my one glass of mocha ice coffee a day). I have begun drinking water on a regular basis instead of replacing my pop with other high calorie options. I am walking on average 5 to 6 times each week on my goal of reaching 10,000 steps a day. (I have quickly learned that I will not be able to come even close to that goal without the daily walk.) And I am taking a harder look at how often I eat, how much, and when I am turning to food for comfort rather than hunger.

After three weeks, I would have expected some progress on my scale to encourage me onward... but alas, that has not happened. I continue to hover at right about the same number week in and week out. It may dip down, only to return to the previous level.

I am trying not to get discouraged. In fact, I am trying to focus on making healthy choices, not on weight loss. But this has been a bit challenging. For instance, I really love my pop (especially Mountain Dew), and when I work hard with no apparent results, it makes me want to say, "well if I'm not going to loose any weight, I might as well drink the pop!"

But I have ignored this voice. I know deep down that it is an unhealthy habit, and even if I never loose another single pound, I will be healthier for not picking the soda habit back up. And I know the exercise is good for me. I am only on my fourth week, but I am already seeing more energy in my day. And it is helping to prevent the "winter blues" and other depression related problems.

So instead of getting discouraged, I am choosing to look at all of my small victories of the past few weeks......

Each day I wake up, and I actually walk. I don't just think about walking. I don't promise myself that I'll walk tomorrow. I am walking.

I began with three laps around my block. This took me about 24 minutes to walk about 1.2 miles. Then I moved on to four laps around the block, increasing my numbers to 32 minutes and 1.6 miles (about 3600 steps). Today, I increased my walk to five laps, 40 minutes, 2 miles, and 4500 steps. (The walking goal for weight loss is 4000-6000 of your daily steps coming from a brisk exercise walking session..... and I have now entered this range!)

I finally was able to get my elliptical, though the power supply does not work.... so now I am waiting for another to arrive in the mail. I plan to continue my walking while I wait, as well as while I work myself up to the same ability on the machine as I have outside. Most likely I will alternate between the two, because I know my walks outside in the sunshine also help with any depression issues.

My goal is to get up to 6-7 laps around the block, but I am taking it slow. Today was my first day doing five, and I have been trying to add another lap every week or two. The weight loss session on my elliptical runs 56 minutes.... 4 minutes of warm-up, 48 minutes of low intensity exercise, and 4 minutes of cool down. I know it will take me awhile to be able to do all of that.

I feel proud of myself that I am setting realistic goals that I can succeed at. I don't want to get so anxious or gung-ho that I set myself up for failure. When I first got the pedometer, I thought I would really have to struggle to get up close to 10,000 steps a day, but with the daily walk I am averaging between 8,500 and 12,000. I think that is awesome for only three weeks in!

The harder part has been with food. I still am not eating any where near the quantities I used to, thus why I have been able to maintain my 65 pound weight loss. But I have been struggling here in New Mexico with comfort eating. And my portions have increased. So now I am trying to put less on my plate, and I have to relearn how to put my fork down when I am satisfied, even if I still have three or four bites left. Why is it so hard to say no to those last yummy bites?

I also have realized that as soon as I feel even the slightest stirring of hunger, I have given myself license to eat. But even though I am not eating large portions, I am still eating more than I need because I am not waiting until I am really hungry.

But this past week, there have been a couple of occasions where I have felt just a little bit hungry and all the voices in my head started screaming, "Yah! Let's eat!!!" but I didn't. Last night, instead of snacking before bed, I chose to not eat anything. Not a thing! Two hours later when I went to bed, I was not really any hungrier than when I decided not to eat, and I felt very good about myself for saying no to the food.

This morning I got up and ate breakfast with my wonderful husband around 8:30, after his PT but before he had to be at work for the day. Then I went on my 40 minute walk. When I returned, I was feeling a little hungry, and mentally I was really craving some sausage links. But it was only two hours after I had eaten, so I decided to wait a bit. Before I knew it, I got busy with some stuff and it was almost 1. Now I was really hungry, but if I had eaten before, I still would have eaten lunch about the same time, thus eating more food than I need.

The Bible says that we should worry about each day as it comes... don't worry about tomorrow for it will have it's own problems... just focus on today. I think that is working well for me right now with this journey as well. If I just focus on each small victory each day, then eventually they will all add up to one large victory down the road. But if I worry about tomorrow... if I fuss and fret about my weight and whether what I am doing today even matters down the road, then I am definitely not going to succeed.

And I know that the real secret to my success here will be when I am able to fully surrender this whole thing to God. I know I am not there yet, but each day I get a bit closer. I guess it is like surrendering in layers. Some levels are lifted and gone while others are still being worked on. But isn't that just the story of life?

Lord God, Thank you for all You are doing in me. Thank you for encouraging me and motivating me to make healthier choices in my life. Thank you for softening my heart towards surrender to You. Please continue to give me Your strength and motivation to continue on this journey. Give me the wisdom to see all my small victories rather than any sense of defeat that is not coming from You. Change my heart to be more like You each day. I love you! Amen.