As we picked up Justin from his Sunday school class this past Sunday, the teacher said something to him about seeing him next week. His answer was, "probably not". This confused the teacher a bit, but it made Paul and I laugh. We explained that this was the third church we had visited in four weeks. She jokingly said to just pick one and settle down.
But I am finding this harder in reality to do than it is to say.
With each visit, I really hope this will be the one. I really want it to be the one. I get excited at the programs and classes offered, the social prospects listed on each website. Some have come with high praises and recommendations. But so far, there has not been peace in my spirit, so my wandering will continue.
This process is making me realize two very specific things.... first, it is showing me how good I had it in Virginia. It is making me realize how much I miss everyone there and the whole dynamic of our church there. Secondly, it is reminding me how much I do not like to wait.
As I was laying on my bed last night thinking about how long this process might last and how I am so tired of waiting, a startling realization... actually a complete "duh!" moment suddenly crashed through my consciousness.
This entire year has been about waiting!
How could I have forgotten this? The past 10 months has been a process of waiting.... waiting on the Lord... waiting on orders... on a van... to move... for housing (we had to stay in temporary housing over a week in limbo).
I can be a very impatient person, and waiting is not very easy for me... but this year much of my waiting has been easier than normal because I knew I was waiting on God to move in my life. I should realize this is still true on this particular journey as well. But somehow I had forgotten these past weeks that there is something to learn in the wait.
I am also forgetting to turn to the Lord with each visit, with each website looked at. I am not asking Him where He wants us. I have been so hungry to find our place that I have also forgotten this part of the equation.
I know that God has brought us here to New Mexico, and I know He has the perfect fit for us. But until I start turning to Him, listening to Him, how can I really expect to find the answer?
Lord God, I thank you for the patience You have with each of Your children. As we wander off on our own trying to find our own way, You gently wait for us to come to our senses and refocus on you. Please help me always remember to seek You first, and help me remember that waiting brings the opportunity to practice patience. Lord, place us where You want us and show us the way we should go. I love you. Amen.