Psalm 27:7-8 (NLT)

Hear me as I pray, O LORD.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk to me."
And my heart responds, "LORD, I am coming."


How often do you pray? I mean, really pray?

I have to admit that prayer is a very weak point in my walk with God. I mean, I think about God a lot. I think about what Jesus has done for me. I really enjoy listening to sermons and having wonderfully insightful spiritual conversations with friends. I like to watch teaching dvd's and read Christian books. I am all about learning. But when it comes to taking that next step of living it all out, I seem to lag behind.

The word tells us to pray without ceasing. We should be talking to God ALL the time. We should be turning to Jesus and asking for His help. We should consult Him first before making big decisions, pray for the lost around us, praise and worship our Lord through our communications with Him.

Does this sound at all intimidating to anyone else? Does anyone else feel really bad inside when you get three fourths of the way through your day to realize you haven't talked to God even once? Does it make you feel like a bad Christian? Do you ever feel intimidated by the Lord and wonder if you even want to know what He has to say about this or that in your life?

I guess somewhere deep down inside I have always looked at prayer as something I had to initiate each day- maybe like God won't want to talk to me unless I come to Him first- that prayer is a mental task that is required of me that would prove beneficial if only I would do it.

But as I was reading in the Psalms this morning, this verse jumped out at me and just kept pressing on me.

My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk to me."
And my heart responds, "LORD, I am coming."

I am not really the initiator- God is! This is not a mental chore to be done each day, it is the invitation of the heart... God's heart speaking to mine- and my heart longing to receive and return this invitation. The Lords wants to hear from me, to have that fellowship with me.

I have spent a whole lot of years in my life blocking out the needs and desires of my heart, learning to not even listen to matters of the heart. After all, our logical minds work so much better in life, especially when we are trying to desperately protect ourselves from the hurts and dangers this world and the people in it can inflict- or at least this is the lie that is easily believed.

God has brought so many changes and much healing into my life these past six and a half years, but somehow I have still managed to cling to this last battleground- my heart. I have not fully surrendered my heart to the Lord. If I had, wouldn't I hear Him calling to me, "Come and talk with me."? And I still rule much of my life with my mind. If I didn't, wouldn't I hear my own heart's reply, "LORD, I am coming."?

Lord Jesus, I confess this day that I have held back pieces of my heart from you, choosing to "do it myself" rather than to completely trust in you. Lord, I thank you that You are loving and merciful, that You call to my heart each day and ask me to come and talk with You, and that You will hear me when I pray. Please help me break down these last defenses- these almost invisible walls I have built around my heart that has kept me from fully experiencing You. Help me to rid these fears from my life that keep me from wanting to hear You. May Your will (not mine) be done. I love you! Amen.