28 January 2009

My Confession of FEAR...

Supposedly, the Bible says "do not fear" 365 times in the Bible. I tried to look them all up once, to see how many there were.... but alas that project never came to fruition.

But it is clear that over and over again the Lord tells us "do not fear"..... and I cannot help but wonder how we are supposed to do this (how I am supposed to do this) when I have a MOUSE crawling across my floor. AND IN MY BEDROOM!!!

I may have traumatized my teenager a bit as I hovered practically on top of her on the couch while crying uncontrollably. She's never seen this side of her mother before. But the fact is, I have an irrational fear of mice and rats that I had hoped I would never come face to face with. I had hoped and prayed I would never have to face the dilemma of "how to get rid of that mouse in your house", because I had always hoped to never see one.

Well, having that hope squashed, and spending an hour and a half in the fetal position crying on my couch because there was a rodent in my bedroom (and the living room, and the laundry room, and the kitchen...while I was in the kitchen, that little sucker went everywhere)... I began to feel a bit silly and ashamed for how badly and childishly I reacted. Coming to New Mexico, I thought my biggest fear would be the tarantulas.... but I stood a foot away from two different huge, black fuzzy spiders without freaking out at all. Nope, it was the mouse that completely unglued me.

My husband was quite sweet about it and chose NOT to make fun of me (smart fellow, that one). But he did ask me why I was so terrified. I said I guess it goes back to my elementary school days when they brought the whole school into the gym to watch this terrifying movie about how dangerous and deadly mice and rats are because of all the diseases they carry. I determined on that day walking home that I never wanted to encounter one. I guess you could say that school assembly scarred me for life.

So my sweet husband started researching about mice, and he has assured me that we have a pretty typical (but harmless) house mouse that is not disease infested. I guess knowing this has helped because the next afternoon when my mother-in-law announced, "Paul, there's a mouse under your couch... I just saw it crawl under there.".... I did not totally freak out. I shuddered a bit, and I left the room cause I did not want to see it again.

So Paul and his dad closed the pocket doors to keep it in that part of the house so they could try to find it. No such luck. It was MIA, at least for the moment. It was found a few hours later as Nikki came out into the kitchen to announce it had joined her in her room, presently residing under her bed. Although not completely freaked out like her mom (she was amazingly calm about the whole situation!!!), she did not like the thought of having said mouse under her bed.

So Paul and Tricia went off to get rid of the mouse. Nikki's room has a door that leads outside to the back patio, so they were able to close her bedroom door, open the outer door, jump on the bed while making all kinds of racket, and then ultimately chase the little critter outside. Of course there is no guarantee that it will remain outside. It did find it's way here in the first place. But I am happy to report that although our traps remain empty, I haven't seen any sign of mice. Regardless, Paul put us on the housing list for pest control.

So I am left to learn to turn this fear over to God, to let him comfort me when I feel terrified of this situation.... oh yeah, and to ignore the few who have thought it fun to tease me by reminding me that I am "so much bigger than a mouse... and shouldn't the mouse be more afraid of me, the giant, than I should be of it?.... blah, blah, blah".

Lord God, fill me with your peace, strength, and courage when I face things that terrify me... even mice in my house. Remind me that you are so much bigger than any fear I have. You are the ultimate comforter. I love you. Amen.

By the way.... for those who have known me a long time.... the complete irony of this situation is that in the last 2o years of my life, I have COLLECTED mice. Mouse stuffed animals. Mouse ornaments. Mouse statues and figurines. Anything cute and mousey..... JUST NOT THE REAL ONES!

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