I am hungry. I fasted breakfast. I partook in a yummy lunch. But now it's been almost five hours and my stomach is beginning to yell out for food. Unfortunately, it will not be receiving any until morning as I am fasting the evening meal as well.
This week I committed myself to a weekly fast each Monday where I choose the meal to eat, and the two to miss. I am seeking God's nourishment in prayer as I pray for my friends and family and their struggles. I seek ultimately to find that God's provision is enough, even in times of fasting.
This morning I was uncertain how this fast would affect my walk, and which meal I should eat. I wanted to make sure that I had enough energy to do my now two and a half miles. I tried to walk a couple of weeks ago with an empty stomach, and I barely had enough energy to walk home from the campground, let alone walk the two miles I was then used to doing. So of course I was concerned this morning. But I drank a little orange juice, and I prayed asking God for His strength to get through my walk and my day.... because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I was pleased to not only accomplish the six laps around my block (almost two and a half miles), but I also had plenty of energy left over to clean up my kitchen before making lunch for the family.
I read in my Bible, and did my once a week journal entry for a more in depth study into God's word. I enjoyed some time singing and playing on my guitar. And I continued my cleaning by taking down the Christmas decorations and sweeping/vacuuming the floors of the common areas of the house. Overall, it has been a good day.
But as I sit here with a growling tummy that is begging to be filled, I am realizing something quite important to my journey. I feel this physical hunger right now for food and nourishment... but what I really want to feel is a hunger for God. I want to hunger for HIS nourishment of my soul, and not just on the days that I am fasting. I want to feel a hunger so strong that I just simply cannot wait to open up His Word to see what He will show me next.
I already have found myself looking forward to my walks each morning because I venture out with headphones and an Ipod playing praise and worship music, and I am fellowshipping with my Lord as I walk those six laps around my block each morning. I sing my praises, and I lift up my thanksgiving. I cry out my fears and worries, and I try to listen for the comforting words I know He is speaking to me. I have found a treasure in my morning routine, but I am hoping through this fasting to find myself hungering for Jesus more and more.
Lord God, You are so faithful! Thank you that you are so much better than any food I could fill myself with this day. I lift up my loved ones who are struggling with eating... those who want to surrender it all to you but do not seem to know how. Give them the strength they need to get through their days and keep their eyes on you. Thank you for the physical and emotional strength you are giving me as I surrender to you, Lord. I love you! Amen.
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