Welcome to My Journey

I have had many friends with me already on this journey.... loved ones who have watched me change and grow (and shrink!). They have walked with me through difficult times, praying with me and lending shoulders to cry on. I have inspired many and found confidence in who I am becoming in Christ.

But now my journey is taking a drastic turn, and God is lifting me up and moving me onto a new path..... 2000 miles away from all these precious brothers and sisters in Christ who have been my love and support for the past 4 years. Although I am excited and thrilled to be moving along on God's path, I have to admit that I am scared. I have never had to leave so many people that I have loved before. Virginia is now home (nevermind the 25 years I lived in the Midwest), and this is where my family is.... the beautiful family of believers that God has placed in my life to help me learn and grow in Him. I love you all so much! It hurts to say goodbye, even though I know the goodbye is not forever.

Now I will be placed in an environment where almost every aspect of my life will be different than where I've been before. I am a city girl, and I am moving to the middle of nowhere in the desert of New Mexico (the closest city is a 40 minute drive away). Everything seems so new.... the climate, living in housing, the physical seclusion, military 24-7. Even to find a spirit filled church will most likely mean an hour commute each way. In some ways I feel like I am going off into my first mission field, and maybe this is exactly what God has in mind for my small family of believers.

I will also be showing up completely as the new me. God had brought me through eating addictions (and lets not forget the tv), and He has brought me off my antidepressants. I am learning for the first time in my life to feel and process emotions. He has shown me that I am worthy of having loving people in my life and has opened me up to real friendships. He has blessed me abundantly with talents and giftings. And I have gained so much confidence in myself amoung these wonderful friends who have seen how far I have come.

But now the new challenge is to stay complete in these changes when everyone I meet will not know how far I've come or how hard I've worked. They won't immediately know I have been very overweight, addicted, or depressed, withdrawn with social anxiety. They won't see all my insecurities of being such a young Christian, because the Lord has grown me so much in only four years. And I don't want to backslide. I must look to the Lord for my confidence, not the people who have seen my changes. I am learning now that I must always turn to God first, because he is the source of everything I need.

I have been told that I have been given the gift of writing, and that I have an eloquence about me that God will use to help so many people. And I know the first person God wants to help through this gifting is ME! After a dear friend of mine started her blog, and I could see how much God was working in her through her writing.... I began to talk about it with my husband, Paul. He strongly encouraged me to begin my own blog, because he has seen how writing has helped me, and he thinks it would be good for me.

So here I am. I know that I have walked a long way down my path of healing. But I also know that my journey to healing is far from completion. So now I am off to phase two.... my journey of writing. For everyone who has been inspired or felt blessed to have been a part of my journey, I invite you to join me... even if I am 2000 miles away.