Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?

Isn't it silly that when rough times come, we always know what we should do..... we know the answer, but we still don't do it? All we have to do is let go and hand it over to God. He wants to take care of us and our problems. And how many times have we experienced this exact thing? We invite the Lord into our lives and give Him our problems.... and He helps us through it every time! At least I know He has for me. So if we know this about our Almighty God, that He WILL help us through the hard times every single time we ask, then why is it still so hard to let go?

I am trying to... I am struggling through.... I am dealing with.... Why is it so hard to get past the I? Why do we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget, over and over again, the merciful love of our Heavenly Father?

This past year the Lord has brought me through a lot of challenges and healing, and for the most part my focus has been more on seeking Him than on myself. With each trial over and a level of freedom gained, I look forward to the next step as it brings me closer to God. But I have noticed a pattern in this process that repeats itself over and over. As each new layer is ready to be pried up, I lose my focus and shift back onto myself. I get aggitated and distracted. The moodiness tries to move in and once again I have to take over the reins of the depression that wants to get its ugly foot back in my door. Sometimes it is only days, sometimes weeks. But once I can stand it no more, I cry out to God and HE answers me back. It is time to keep moving towards Me, he tells me. Time for another layer to come up. Time to shift my focus back on Him.

This should be easy, right? We know the outcome.... God does what He promises He will do. He pulls up that layer, brings us healing, and revels in our freedom with us as we praise and glorify His name for our victory. So knowing this is our reward for surrendering to Him, why do we hold back? Why do we stew for days or sometimes weeks before "giving in"? Why don't we automatically give it all to God in the first place?

I am tired. Spiritually, emotionally, physically..... tired. I am in the middle of a layer, only this time (unlike any other this past year) it feels like God is pulling up three or four layers at once, and it is taking much longer than past layers. I have had so many things coming at me from all directions. God has given me some difficult tasks this past month, hard things I didn't want to do but knew I had to. He has also brought a lot of difficult truth into my life, and for most of us hard truth is hard to swallow. The Lord is pruning me, and it is exhausting.

So I suppose it was fitting that the sermon I heard last week at church was written for the spiritually tired. It was God's message to those of us who are weary. He is also speaking to me through the book I'm currently reading, The Battle Belongs to the Lord by Joyce Meyer. She talks about how to overcome life's struggles through praise and worship. When we take time out of our day just to stop and praise God for who He is .... Abba Father, Almighty Maker, merciful, loving, holy and righteous..... when we put our focus on Him, our days would be so much better! Our focus would stay on Him, and I'm sure that would make it so much easier to turn to Him when trouble arises instead of withdrawing into ourselves.

Joyce even states in her book that God revealed to her once that the reason why God allows us to experience so many trials is because that is the only time He gets to spend with His people! Imagine that! If we would turn to Him in times NOT of trouble, on a daily basis, praising Him and seeking His face, then maybe we wouldn't have to experience quite as many trials as we do!

I am thinking about all these truths that have been spoken to me recently, along with the knowledge and experiences that I have already gained, and I can see that the answer is still the same. But should that surprise me any? Afterall, God's word does tell us He is the same yesterday, today, and for all time. I have to let it go. I have to surrender it to God, recognizing that He is in control. Only He can accomplish this task of changing and healing me. Only He can pull up these layers that are hindering me. Only He can give me the strength I need to endure.

So I see the problem, I hear the answer, but I have continued to stay immobile..... at least for the moment. A friend of mine asked me this week as I spoke of my troubles, "Are you holding steadfast to the Lord?" I had to admit that I wasn't. I was choosing to ignore everything I've seen and heard, everything I've learned. I am hurting, and I have chosen to shut myself off knowing it will only hurt me, knowing that God's way is perfect and so much better. Why do we do this to ourselves over and over? Why do we purposely choose misery over God's love? Why is it so hard to let go?

Father God, I praise your name above all others. I thank you for your love, your mercy and forgiveness, and for your saving grace. You are awesome beyond words! I humbly ask you to help us remember your way is so much better than anything we can do on our own. Please help me remember to put You first, rather than wait until I can stand myself no more. Lord Jesus, help me surrender to you and let everything go so that you can come in and perfect your work in my life. Amen.