Staying Clean

I am a slob.

Plain and simple.

I do not like to clean up after myself or others, especially my children. I do not like the consistancy involved in teaching my children to clean up after themselves regularly. I have lacked training and discipline in my life, and many times this has gotten me into trouble, especially when slob merges with pack-rat.

Not pretty.

But this morning as I was looking around my kitchen that is just beginning to collect a little clutter, and I realized something quite magnificent! God has prepared me for this HUGE house! Isn't that so cool?

When I lived in a largish apartment in Virginia, I got myself into trouble all of the time. I couldn't keep anything clean and tidy. My house was in a constant state of chaos. But to be honest, most of my life was in a constant state of chaos, especially my eating.

I would let things go for weeks, not wanting to clean. It would build and build and build. And then when I could finally stand it no more, I would put all this effort and work into getting things done (usually in anger). Then I would feel like I shouldn't have to do any of this again for a long time because afterall, I just worked my butt off.... and then it would build and build and build. Never ending cycle.

I was embarrassed to have anyone over. My "clean" wasn't as good as many people's "messy". I would stop by someone's house and hear, "Please excuse the mess!"..... the only problem? I would look around and think my clean isn't even close to this. It was discouraging, but I really wasn't willing or ready to do anything about it.

After I began to take control of my life, starting to get "cleaned up" so to speak, things began to change, a little. I began to get my eating addiction under control, and after awhile I was beginning to get ready to tackle the other disabling problem in my life.... the clutter.

God used a move to a small apartment to help shove me through that door. To the amazement of many of my friends, I got rid of half the stuff in my house. Many might think I am exaggerating here, but I am not. If you are going to move from 1700 sq.ft. with outdoor space to 1000 sq.ft. with no outdoor space, then you have to be willing to let go of some of your stuff.

I spent six weeks slowly moving in one car full of stuff at a time. Each load I would find a home for each item until everything had its place, then I'd return for another load. At the end I had to finish giving away or throwing away what would not fit in the new apartment.

Once we got settled in, we learned very quickly that when you live in a small place, it does not take very long, or very much stuff, before things get cluttered and messy. What used to take weeks to drive me crazy now took only a day or two of neglect before I would stop everything to clean up again. I was finally learning some discipline and consistancy.

I also began to realize that part of my slob problem was rooted in the fact that I did not want to take responsibility for the fact that this was my job. I was responsible for maintaining my home, and teaching my children to clean up after themselves. No one else was going to do it. By not doing it I was only hurting my family. And being lazy. Boy, that's a hard one to swallow, isn't it? Not always fun to own up to your shortcomings and then try to do something about them.

I lived in that apartment for a whole year, almost to the day. Twleve months of doing my dishes every day instead of every three or four. When your kitchen is as small as that one was, there is no place to leave more than one or two meals of dirty dishes, especially the way I cook with numerous pots and pans.

We only had one room that was large, and I wanted it as roomy as possible to help the apartment not feel like it was closing in on me. You see, I had lived in a 900 sq.ft. mobile home in Illinois several years ago that became known as "my box". Small spaces aren't too bad at first, but after awhile they will close in on you if you don't keep your stuff under control. I did not learn discipline and consistancy from my box... instead I learned that I didn't like child services coming to my door for environmental neglect.

SO knowing I did not want to get myself into the trouble I was in before (letting my stuff control and disable me in my small space), I worked hard at keeping up with my work. My clean was still not as good as other's clean, but I also learned to be comfortable with my environment, knowing I was learning and working hard. As a natural slob, I tend to forget the deep cleaning stuff that truly makes a clean house shine. I don't know if my house will ever shine, but I'm ok with that!

Even though I worked hard not to increase our stuff in our little house, we still managed to move 10,000 pounds of household goods to New Mexico. Twice what they estimated per room. But in my defense, I do have a lot of furniture... and yarn... and computers... and instruments. But bottom line, I think I did a pretty good job only bringing stuff we actually use. I don't have boxes that have been packed for years... you know the ones. You don't even know what's in them cause you haven't opened it in three or five years. When you have no storage, that stuff is the first to go.

So we arrive here, were assigned quarters almost two and a half times bigger than what we had at Fort Monroe, and when you think about it... it could take a long time to get this place very messy. With all of this space, things can collect quite a bit before it gets crazy. So this is where the preparation comes in.

As I looked around my kitchen at my little bit of clutter, and thought of the couple of loads of laundry that needed to be put away, and the shoes and toys in the living room that needed their homes, a delicious thought occured to me.

I wanted to clean it up before it got bad.

That is SOOOO cool! After a day or two of letting it go, I was ready to get it cleaned up. I don't want to wait until "I have to"... I wanted to do it now before it becomes a problem. God really used that time in my little apartment not only to train me, but to prepare me for being able to handle the responsibily of such a large house.

I am to the point where I like things straightened up. The laziness still rears its ugly head every now and then, but I have learned to say no to it 9 out of 10 times. I have learned to tell my self that I may not want to do it, but I need to do it because it has to get done.

Wow! I think I'm growing up!

Lord Jesus, thank you for this amazing house You have given us. And thank you for preparing and training me this past year to be able to keep up with all it entails. Remind me when I need to give myself grace, and when I need to give myself a good kick in the butt. Please help me stay consistant and not backtrack on any of my acquired discipline. Lord, help me live and work for Your glory. I love you. Amen.