Compartmentalizing

To separate into distinct parts, categories, or compartments



Ladies, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be able to have this mental skill that seems to come so naturally to our husbands? (or boyfriends, brothers, fathers.... whatever men you currently have in your life.) God created men and women so incredibly differently, yet each sex represents a distinct side of God.

My husband and I found ourselves out for an impromptu dinner tonight after discovering the little neighborhood Chinese restaurant had reopened its Mongolian BBQ bar after more than a year of the bbq being out of commission. As we waited for our food, Paul asked me if I was excited about the move. He wanted to know if I was looking forward to getting to New Mexico and all the things ahead of us there. I shook my head no.

Then he asked me if I was dreading it, and again I shook my head no. I replied that I was having a hard time getting past the "right now". Basically, I am stressed. There is so much to do in this final week. There's packing to do. There are painful goodbyes to be said. There are daughters to be cheered up. Not to mention everything involved in the two week process of getting there. I am a little overwhelmed by details and emotions that are taking over my time and attention.

So Paul just looks at me, about to go claim his food from the Mongolian grill, and says something like, "so this is where the ability to compartmentalize would come in handy about now?" I just smiled and shook my head yes. My sweet husband..... he's excited about what lies ahead, and he's thinking about what we have to look forward to. He knows there's all this junk here (he's not looking forward to leaving his friends any more than the rest of us), but he can just shove all that aside... put it into a compartment in his brain that will allow him to forget about it long enough to focus his attention on something else.

This is not something most women can do. I know I can't. I feel everything at once, and I have trouble separating things out to focus on only one thing. I think that is why I get so overwhelmed sometimes.

But then I have to remind myself that sometimes it comes in handy to be able to do many things at once. This is a skill my husband does not have. He usually has to focus on each thing separately.... if he is distracted he cannot concentrate on the task at hand. I have to remember that if he is reading something, or in the middle of a task... then I need to wait for him to finish before he can focus on what I am saying to him. Can we say "one track mind"? I, however, can do about four things at once when needed.

It never ceases to amaze me how God created each of us in an almost opposite fashion. We each are truly a half that brought together becomes a whole. [.... a man leaves his mother and father and becomes one with his wife]. I guess it would make sense that if two parts come together to make one whole, then those two parts should function differently to be able to accomplish the higher goal.

My job is to be the nurturer. I support my husband and his needs, reassuring him and listening as he needs me. I take care of my children, kissing away the hurts and smothering them with hugs (not as easy of a task as they become teens.... as I am finding out). I am not sure I could get anything done on a daily basis without that ability to do several things at once.

My husband is the providor.... the source of strength in our family. He goes off to his stressful job, and he needs to forget about what's going on in the family when he is at work. But then he also can come home and focus on us while putting work on the back burner. God calls the man to live for, protect, and die for his wife (if necessary). That is a pretty tall order.

When you look back at history, beginning in Genesis... men went off to war. They protected their families as warriors and hunters. They needed to have the ability to push their thoughts, emotions, and fears away to accomplish the difficult task at hand.

In present day, my husband is in the military. Although he has a safer job in the Navy (than Army or Marines), he still serves our country in an institution that calls for its members to serve and protect with a willingness to give their lives. Just like the warriors of old, he needs that ability to compartmentalize when he is away for six months at a time, focusing on his job at hand during those deployments.

There is one thing that my husband and I definately agree on..... neither of us wants to do the other's job! And this is just how it should be. It may be frustrating sometimes when we don't understand how the other thinks or approaches things. We may not always choose to do things the same way (especially driving routes.... sorry, inside joke). But we recognize that our differences are what enhances our marraige and our family.

Father God, you are such an awesome creator! You knew exactly what was needed in each of us and how our differences would complete each other. I thank you for the wonderful husband you gave me, and I ask you to help me be exactly what my husband needs. Give each of us understanding for the other as we work together in our marraige and family. Keep us both grounded in you as we journey together in life. I love you, Lord. Amen.